14 February 2011

STILL single and hopeful in the month of love

I rested my fate into the hands of time. Only time can tell as the proverbial goes. And so, I handed my heart on a silver platter, unknown whether it would be accepted with gusto. The time finally comes after almost a year of waiting. Too bad I am feeling indifferent now.

For a year, we used to walk that same path,  but now our worlds have drifted apart. I remembered how I held that person tight. Too bad it’s not worth the fight. I guess, there is a time to love and there is a time to leave. Yesterday we were lovers, but today we are strangers.

We moved on without knowing why. But when we finally have dealt with being love-struck, we are emancipated and empowered. There are times that love drives us crazy to the point that it becomes a wall that we have to overcome.

But love still brings joy. We all need it. We desperately seek for it. No matter how hard we stay away from it, we ended up being fools of love. I myself have become enslaved by love. For the past years, I’ve been seeking and the search however leaves me disheartened. To make up for my disappointments, I just think that the so-called love-god named Cupid hates me on principle. Screw him.

All I wanted is to be this guy who will sweep off someone’s feet. But I have to wait, perhaps.

For more than a year of being single, it just dawned into me that I never lived up to the essence of singlehood. I’ve been chasing them. I never gave myself time. I never allowed myself to be happy alone. I regarded that happiness should come from a special someone, that I was being lonesome.

Yes, I do feel alone. Sure, I have accumulated  friends that are worth keeping. But I know that I cannot always be with them. I cannot summon them whenever I need to. They have their own lives. The worst part is that I’ve been seeing some of them slowly drifting away. Soon, they’ll find their life partners and be ensnared with love. It’s a sad fact that people are not always here for us. Unless we want to live alone, we have to find our better-halves to exclusively share both our happiness and sadness.

I know that there’s someone out there for me, that the time will come when that person will be walking in my life. It might be someone I know or someone I haven’t met. One thing is for sure, I have to wait for that person. I have to wait for you.

Until then, while you are still out there making mistakes with love, waking up with the wrong guy, or desperately traversing the path towards me, I have to be prepared. I’ll empty a bottle of facial moisturizers and make sure to maintain a good hair cut. I’ll work hard, save money, and secure my career. I’ll be a good son, brother, and friend. I’ll fortify my faith. I’ll take good care of myself and become a better man. So when that time comes, when I am to meet you, you’ll know for a fact that I am the best man for you. That time, I will definitely sweep you off your feet.

I still am hopeful nevertheless. Although I’ve been running in circles with love. There’s something in it that pulls me closer. In physics, this may be likened to centripetal force. I however call it LOVE, the driving force of life.


E. Wong Martin February 21, 2011 at 6:43 AM  

Dude, you ain't alone. Just lonely. :-)

Matt Matt Emmanuel February 21, 2011 at 10:57 PM  

Oi kuya ewong, kung maka-lonely ka naman jan. haha :D

DD1511 January 14, 2012 at 6:56 PM  

Do you still feel lonely now? :)

Matt Matt Emmanuel January 14, 2012 at 10:30 PM  

hell to the no. i am truly madly deeply in love. haha might even delete this post? lol. hahaha