27 July 2010

On love and rushing things as told by college friends

Nothing beats having a handful of people dear to you whom you can easily share your feelings with – be it a frantic or blissful one. Whenever I feel good, I always run to them. I share with them my short-lived triumphs not to brag but to celebrate. Whenever melancholy looms from my consciousness, I consider friends as my personal brand of anti-depressants. I share with them my darkest hours not to drag them in obscurity but to be my light post that could liven up my gloomy moment. These are some of the wonders of friendship can bring…or so I thought.

I was feeling really good the other day and for some reason, I posted a status on my Facebook account saying, “I’m starting to like someone…but I’m confused and I don’t want to rush things.”

It was a heartfelt declaration of feelings. For all we know, social networking sites including Facebook and Twitter have become a venue for what I want to call “digital expressionism.” Well, so much for that. Anyhow, my Facebook status managed to draw attention and as of press time, it has 64 comments from my friends and what is really amusing is how the mere assertion of my feelings had turned out to be a mixture between nonsensical and meaningful discussion. Upon re-reading the chaotic conversation, my friends taught me something relevant about love.

It was Arvin Ramos who first commented about the trouble of dealing with suppressed feelings. Perhaps, he was saying that out of experience. And I could not agree less because no matter how smart-ass you are, you can never easily deal with the affairs of the heart. The soon-to-be lawyer Jemo Balgos however questioned the veracity of my confusion. Referring from his jurisprudence classes, he talked about the presence of an impediment that would bar the pursuance of an intimate relationship. Hearing this comment from Jemo really struck me awake since it made me realize that the affairs of the heart are the same as with the affairs of the court – nothing less than dramatic.

Should I rush or not? Yes, I should, according to Enzo Villamor. Rushing things is like venturing into the unknown. It feels like you are entering a war unprepared. Love being a battlefield, rushing things means you would tend to disregard rationality to follow what your heart’s yearning. The good thing about this is you can always blame your poor heart for making hasty decisions. Your stupidity will never be questioned. As what I have mentioned in my reply to Jemo and in referencing a Supreme Court ruling, “the heart has reasons of its own which reason alone does not know.” It turns out that Meg Pamiloza also embraced the idea of rushing things. She said life is too short to wait in vain. She’s right.

Sometimes, you really have to go for what you want, or "like" for that matter. Whatever the “impediments” that may come your way, you should always try to follow the yearnings of the heart. Perhaps, it is not the uncertainty of rushing things that is frightening but the improbabilities arising from not responding immediately to the desires of the heart.

On the contrary, Apple Bernardino, Uno Domingo and LJ Sales agreed that I should not be rushing things. Rushing things would make me end up like Enzo’s thesis on behavioral smoking according to Uno. LJ, moreover, said that I should be preparing my “show-off” tactics while comically referring to the “top-view, side-view” portraits that have been plaguing the social networking sites.

Maybe love is like taking a self portrait and posting it as your profile picture. You run numerous test shots at different angles until you find the one that showcases your defining features. When pursuing someone, we always set the best foot forward so that we leave a favorable impression. The problem with this is we tend to deceive love by blinding it with the so-called “top-view, side-view” portraits. And just like these profile pictures over Facebook, we end up distasted by love itself.

Moving out and moving on are two stages of romantic ride. When Yang Navarro went in New York, we really did not have any idea what she had been through to adjust in a foreign land. She shared her experience with a dirty-old man preying on innocent youngsters like her. Stalking is commonplace in the United States according to Jemo and the innocent immigrants usually end up victimized. But nonetheless, Yang thwarted off such dangers. She lived by it, she moved on.

When speaking of love, being in a new love affair could be regarded as being in a foreign land. We are unaware of what would happen to us but all we know is that we should give it a try. Bobby Almaden, along with his singing prowess, moved in to Canada for good. Migrating in a new country and venturing into a new romantic affair mark a turning point in our lives because for every moving out’s and moving on’s, we exhibit our maturity and our ability to face the unknown. Both moving out and moving on speak of the uncertainty brought about by rushing things and the importance of planning instead of rushing things; after all, you cannot really go in a foreign land, specifically the United States and Canada unplanned.

Perhaps dealing with a new love affair is like dealing between the “rushing” and “never rush” placed at the contrasting ends of a spectrum. Perhaps, like a courtroom proceeding, rushing things mark our ability to trust our instinct while choosing not to rush things highlights our rationality. Doing this also keeps our feelings at bay. It is however finding a good mix of instinct and rationality that maybe, just maybe, we can avoid the confusion and the worries of venturing into a new love affair. But of course, we are not bounded to deal with love alone. That’s why we are designed as beings who can express. Expressions is an act of sharing – sharing what we feel to people who matter to us. We don’t handle confusions alone; we ask for friends’ opinions. Though at times their points of view are more confusing, tragic, and chaotic, regardless of how sensible or un-sensible those opinions maybe, they struck our head hard for us to come with a decision of our own.

And oh, I miss my Letran friends :-)


Anonymous,  July 29, 2010 at 7:43 PM  

I LOVE IT!♥(^^,) well atleast you learned sumthin with that "side viewed top shots!" hahaha! i love ur blog!♥

Matt Matt Emmanuel July 29, 2010 at 7:53 PM  

Gusto ko na ngang gawin na profile pic yung ganun e! hehe

Anonymous,  July 30, 2010 at 8:08 AM  

I love it too :) Matty, habang binabasa ko to, muntik ka tuloy akong mapaisip. Haha. Alam mo naman. Medyo naguguluhan din ako. Haha :p -Apple

Matt Matt Emmanuel July 30, 2010 at 7:17 PM  

Seryoso gusto niyo itong blog entry na ito? hehe.. sabog-sabog lang pag-gawa ko nito..anyway apol, hindi naman ako naguguluhan anu lang ahm, teka wait i cannot put it into words.. haha

T.,  August 1, 2010 at 5:55 AM  

...i love u mattie!!!

Matt Matt Emmanuel August 1, 2010 at 11:01 AM  

I love you too "T" !!!! ... Lol.. nung una napaisip ako kung sino ito feeling ko isa sa mga fans ko, then it hit me, si "T" pala ito.. ang tunay kong pagibig..

Princematmat,  January 28, 2011 at 10:46 AM  

Like it sir! :)
Best line that I could relate: "Perhaps, it is not the uncertainty of rushing things that is frightening but the possibile improbabilities arising from not responding immediately to the desire of the heart."

Anonymous,  March 16, 2011 at 9:38 AM  

after almost a year, i stumbled on this blog. I am honored to be mentioned here. :) imissyou mattie! -Meg